into the hospitals we go
i've started hospitals this week and the reason why i haven't updated once is bc i've been wo net. well, i officially began hospitals last week. but that was just orientation stuff. this week, its the real deal.
and its pretty full on. its what, tuesday night and i'm already buggered. true, my fault, i didn't get a good sleep on the weekend, but i'm already run down. I DON'T SEE HOW i'm expected to go to hospitals from 8am (so i have to wake up at 6 30) til 5pm (so i get home at 6 30) every day, and study? i mean by the time i settle down (stupid dinner always takes too long) its 8pm and i start doing one thing, i know i have that other thing and then i have to be in bed by 10ish so i can get my 8 hrs sleep otherwise i won't stay awake the next day and BELIEVE ME, do not want a consultant catching u sleep.
i don't know. when i'm at the hospitals its actually really exciting. i'm there. i can see patients. i can see the doctors working. i'm still to figure out how i'll get to the clinical skills part (bc i'd really really like to do clinical skills please!) but i'll get there eventually. i can stand it at the hospitals. but once i'm home, i'm in the foulest mood. i just want to punch something. i want to yell. i want to scream. i need to get into isolation box.
its so different from uni. and its like we're planton in this ocean. oh yes, planton. no one knows what we're really meant to do. no one really knows what's going on. i'm like ARGH HOW DO I DO EXAM PREP THEN????
i figure its bc i'm at a big hospital rather than a small one. and maybe i should have opted for a smaller hospital. but at the same time, i get this feeling that i just need to get over this little edge and its going to be awesome. its going to be great. just need a bit more energy for the rest of it.
to tell u the truth? i'm fucked. i really could do w a week where all i do is sleep and exercise.
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