i've got a semi headache.
ok, are we ready to delve into a rather deep conversation?
friendships. are as simple as they come, as complex as they come, are great to have. u can survive wo them. but i think, u won't live unless u have them. bc wo friends, ur life is bound to be so lonely. there's no one really other than family and friends to share ur life with.
i was having a conversation w a good mate a while ago. and we were trying to detect the level of friends we each have. sounds weird? well, i guess. the concept is weird. but the truth is, there are levels of friendships.
u have of course ur acquaintances - at times u can consider these ppl as ur friends. but they won't know much abt u, u won't know much abt them. but u still like them enough, and if circumstances pushed it, u'll become better friends.
then u have those friends u hang out w. they're in the group, but u really don't know them either. but, if u were to have some function, these ppl would be invited etc.
close friends are at the top. they're the ones that keep u happy most of the time too. except, as my friend and i were discussing it, it seems as though being close friends also has its limit.
as she put it, the closest friend u'll ever have is someone who's "willing to wipe ur butt wo a complaint when u need it." - kinda like the concept that i'll scratch ur back if u need it but wipping ur butt is more confronting. how many of ur friends are u willing to do that for?
do u even have any?
we considered that to wipe someone's butt was worth the maximum 10 points. to honestly say that u would do this for someone is to show just how close that bond is really for someone. it is at 10, that u can actually say : i'm willing to do everything for u that u need.
hehe it turns out that its actually alot harder to say u will wipe someone's butt. its hard to get that 10. my friend and i decided, we'll wipe each other noses, but butt is a little too confronting and more than what we are willing to give.
the simplest test for u to consider then is this. if, any friend of urs, was involved in a car crash, and as a result, became a vegetable, how much help are u willing to offer?
will u:
* come visit the first few days after the accident, and offer 'anything u need' but gradually stop the visits, and eventually forget this friend?
* feeling obligated, u'll visit each month for just half an hr, and then when that's finished, push this friend to the back of ur mind until next time?
* come to visit every month bc u want to
* drop everything u were doing as soon as u hear of the accident, and spend the next few days trying to organise things this friend needs
* do the abv, plus, organising ur time table so that u can still visit this friend most days and check that he/she doesn't need anything
* do the two abvs and move in w this friend - and look after their needs, willingly.
i'm going to go out on a limb, and say that most of us will not have very few, if ANY, friends we're willing to do the last dot point there. in fact, i don't know how many i have (if any) i'd do the last 3 dot points for.
and it really makes u think. what does it take, for u to be so willing to do it all.
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