a woman scorn
hmmm ever had a confrontational day?
i just did. a former friend (i say former bc i'm still undecided as to how i went to continue the friendship --> if there is any) decided to call me up on me acting like a 'bitch' towards him.
yep. he outright called me a bitch. not that i'm totally upset by it (i really don't care if he thinks i'm a female dog...i love dogs) but he did it in front of everybody. yes siry. the stupid idiot didn't even have the decency to do it in privacy.
u know what though? I'M SO GLAD that my friends were there bc alone i would have felt trapped. but there were two flanked by my side so i felt strong enough to stand up and make the boy face facts.
but what i can't get out of my head is that there just weren't friends there. THERE WAS EVERYONE ELSE. there were ppl who didn't know anything abt our history and here they are hearing that i'm a BITCH. hmmm. not cool if i particularly like these other ppl to hang out with. the poor ppl though. they knew this was a CONFRONTATION and not just any old conversation. in fact, these ppl had the decency to keep silent after he stormed off. nice ppl. i broke the ice by saying....so, what did everyone think?
the boy has nerve. and what's worse, the news of the fight spread throughout med and most ppl knew abt it one way or another ... i think. i mean i had a swamp of my friends ran up abt 5 mins after saying OMG WHAT HAPPENED??? and of course, the year level's gossip walked in hearing us yell at each other and left just as discreetly and told most ppl! haha not that i'm all cut over that either. the stupid idiot already did that damage last semester.
hmmm. although, i did feel slightly guilty over the whole bitch thing. but see, that's wrong right? i only felt marginally guilty over it...not guilty enough to stop treating him as such. first of all, it is a protective mechanism that i use against him bc he's so DAMN CLINGY. but also at hte same time, i'm sort of used to it. it's something i do wo thinking abt. it just happens. bc i couldn't stand to go through it all again.
this is one of those incidents that sometime in the future its going to come and bite me in the arse. particularly, when i'm older and more mature (ha i wish!) and i think back to this and say, SHIT u could have been the bigger person.
but right at this moment, i don't want to be. u don't treat me that way, nor my friend that way and expect to be let off lightly. this is how i deal w things. u double cross me once and its over. i'm particularly good at ignoring u when need be. i'm particularly good at retaliating. i'm a fighter and always have been, and last year u broke my spirits. luckily, i found them and they went to overdrive and now u experience just what i'm capable of. u think this is the worse? how much u don't know. it could get much much worse. u probably won't see it so long as u don't bother me again.
i'm done. u know? its over. there is a saying somewhere abt how a woman scorn never forgives, or never let's u back in. i'm guessing its 100% true. bc after all of this, HOW CAN I? i've cut my losses and its not worth it anymore. put aside the fact that i'll probably regret this in the future, put aside the fact that i'm being the world's most immature person in the world...
if only u were in my shoes.
i always knew i should stick to my intuition. i always knew i was a good judge of character. i'm still hitting myself w a bat i let him get so damn close.
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