my own hell
Warning #1: it is highly likely that i'm going to be in the foulest mood all week
What a great way to start the week huh? It's a creeping up sort of feeling and sort of plagues every stupid thought that comes my way...
What brought this on? well, i was looking at my time table for this week and its the stupidest thing i've ever seen and that is a killer - 4 8am starts, many late nights and stupid 2-3-4 hr breaks in between. Strike two is that i'm having trouble at home and its going to explode in the next week, i can feel it, and being stupid me, of course i feel responsible in some way when it has nothing to do w me at all and the only thought that comes to mind is that its bc i'm the oldest and i'm the girl. and finally, strike three, i'm still so damn unsure of where i stand w some friendships and that's getting to me...damn not knowing anything anymore, damn not being sure anymore, damn this stupid insecurity that i'm always feeling, damn me for acutally feeling it...
So yeah, it is highly likely that all week i'm going to be snappy, or uncaring and a down right bitch...and i'm so so sorry abt it...i really am...i don't want to feel like this but that's where i am...and it seems all i can do is let it pass...i can't wait until friday and i can go back and 'pretend' to be in high school again...damn the fact that yr 12 seemed so uncomplicated...again i'm so so so sorry...anything i say or do is not meant to happen ...haha...just don't trust me all week is probably a good thing to do...call it PMS if u need too...i'm calling it hell
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