growing time?
hpmh. as i sit here methodically and against my will, learning abt the physiology behind the human erection (alot less fun than it sounds! trust me on that one) the sun is shining and i'm all...
disappointed.
this is yet another weekend where i have nothing planned but to study (exam is this thursday! someone kill me now). i'll be stuck indoors for a good 48 hrs, actually more, bc my confinement started on friday night. SIGH.
i'm increasingly aware that i'm very disappointed w my uni experience. i mean, i've been surrounded by meddies from day 1. while it was great for 1st semester bc it meant we forged friendships faster than other courses, well, now...its a drag. i'm moving on towards to hospital, where hopefully, things will open horizons and etc. but ...ergh.
haha i remember thinking in high school that uni would be AWESOME. my older friends use to talk abt their different group of friends and how's it gone really well and how they always have someone to go out w or how they just meet so many ppl IT'S CRAZY. well i expected pretty much the same. and wo much effort too. true, perhaps its my fault that i haven't got these outside friends, outside life bc u know, i didn't put in the effort...but neither did my older friends. it just happened.
so i wonder u know. and i figured its due to a few things:
a) my high school friends would know other ppl, but bc high school friends aren't that close and we only catch up occasionally, i dont know these ppl. its also a problem i go to a different uni, so there is never a chance to meet new ppl
b) my current medical friends are great but close knitted. haha we joke abt being co dependent cathys but we really are. haha. hmmm. a majority of the group went to the same school as one other person so its even more tight knitted. uni friends also dont mix uni friends w high school friends (although i suspect thats bc one group tried, and its been diastrous each time and other smaller group come from interstate)
c) i've become comfortable. the idea of going to an unknown wo knowing anyone (ie next year hosptial placements) or have someone to even hang out w FREAKS ME OUT. why? conjures up memories of primary schoool. let's face it, i dont get on with ABSOLUTELY everybody (damn those ppl who can!) so shock to the system etc etc
but maybe its time. maybe i should venture out a little. decide where i really go and ignore where all my friends are going. just do what i need to do. i gotta grow somewhere. haha this may be the best time to do it.
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