Chvi

and so here i am

haha its funny how when u know u have to study, u do EVERYTHING in ur power to make u study....

currently, what's making me study is sitting in the corner of my room, on the floor, hurting my neck straining to read notes. haha...the desk is tooo distracting. i did learn however, anatomy needs to be learnt the desk. haha.

last night i finished off my 2nd additional piece for my portfolio. personally, i find these things EXTRA CRAP and that there really is no point (JUST GIVE US THE DAMN 2% ALREADY). if i didn't think i was going to fail the year i wouldn't bother. haha anyway. one of my pieces i've decided to do is do a reflective essay on how going into med has changed my status in the vietnamese community and how that personally affects me. the essay itself makes no sense (bc i tried doing it in 1000 w and jumped from here to there to there). interesting though, just how much PENT UP ANGER i have towards pushy vietnamese parents who see me as OOOOHHHHH DAUGHTER. DOES MED. SHE MUST BE GOOD. i mean, haha i'm just that stubborn to want to prove them wrong (hahha that's right BRING OUT THE indian bf). the whole essay is really me ranting. i doubt elaine would find it useful. haha but still.

what makes me really frustrated is that these parents HAVE NO F***** IDEA just how difficult med is. its not abt the study. its not abt taking time out of ur social life (although, yes it does that). its the fact that U HAVE LIFE IN HANDS. u know, responsibility to the teeth. u lose everything else, bc med has to become a priority. and it just annoys me that all they see is DOCTOR = REPUTATION = MONEY= POWER.

screw the money, screw the power. it shouldn't be a factor.

i came to a realisation while i was writing that piece though. haha i think i went into the course w the wrong reasons - well ok, i think most ppl knew that. but i went into the course for hte wrong reasons knowing exactly WHY if given the chance and the guts, i would have run away from it. but i found out something else. i couldn't imagine being any where else. haha, even w my pathetic memory, even wo me being able to retain info for more than 20 mins, i'm beginning to really love it. like...really love it. i'm soooo excited abt hospitals (except the whole no friends things -- which btw, the stress of it is causing a peptic ulcer (note: yes i know i know, peptic ulcers aren't cause by stress as shown by the australian guys who swallowed H.pylori to prove it haha)) and i can't wait to get out to rural when i can (hopefully year 4!)

its just...one of those experiences. haha. i don't know. i guess i'm glad i'm here. i'm really glad that i feel glad to be here.

haha ok now here's the bad news. i'm having trouble processing the fact that a majority of monash med students aren't from melb. haha i think its the whole stress of having no friends at the hospital next year, and the fact the hospital is full of interstate ppl, but i'm getting all ERGH abt it. of course, were the situation the other way round, i'm sure locals would feel that too. still. haha. wouldn't the world be a nicer place if u could do med in your own state? near family? near childhood friends? i guess its a big move for all interstate ppl. i don't know where i'm getting at.

in other news, finally convienced parents to chip in to my video IPOD. score!!!! just wish the bloody thing would hurry up and get here......

posted by chvi @ 3:27 PM