the deep thinking
i was just thinking i haven't written a 'deep' (they're more childish then deep) thoughts lately. the reason being that my mind is either TOO TIRED or bogged down by med crap that there is no room for deep and meaningful talks.
life is rather interesting and yet a drag. that's a complicated thought isn't it?? i haven't really had much ME time to sit and ponder, bc i'm frantically trying to remember stuff (ARGH NEUROLOGY NEXT SOOOO GOING TO DIE) but i'm still settling it. 6 weeks in. haha and a new rotation isn't going to help i think.
i feel apprehensive abt everything at the moment i haven't been able to enjoy it. hospitals are great...i guess. haha i mean when we do med stuff, like when ur doing an examination and u pick out ARGH U HAVE A LIVER that's cool. or when the intern comes round and goes, U, U WANT THAT IV?? that's great fun too. but otherwise, i'm half off my wits trying to stay awake for everything, learn everything, figure out what hospital is. haha and then weekends come, and i go out and still no time to just sit and be.
i haven't really talked to my parents in agessssssssssssssssssss. i MISS THEM! and they live w me!!!!! (or i live w them). but i come home so late. and then i have to study. then they go out. then i go out. and there's just no time to sit and enjoy them. i miss them terribly!!!
i miss group functions too. i miss just being able to sit w ur group of friends and having in jokes. i miss having quality time w others. at hospitals, ur more or less by urself frantically trying to figure out what u should be doing next. haha. or learning. or sleeping. or TTT it up. haha.
i feel quite disgrunted w the system atm. haha i just wish, there was a better transition period. oh well, suck it up, stick to it and eventually things will turn out yeah???? yeah, hopefully. i wish. really i do.
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