I often wonder what gets me here and why I even care.
Or what to tell myself when this point comes.
Because I'm pretty sure that I don't want him to be my end all and be all. I'm pretty sure that I don't like him in that way. But everytime he gets a new girl, it hurts.
I THINK, its because I'm pathologically selfish.
I don't live a horrible life. I live a great life. But I'm always wanting more and I'm always wanting the invite and i'm always wanting to be involved, to be included, to be loved.
So i really shoudn't be asking for more.
I just feel like its never going to happen for me and it sucks everything I've ever wanted out of me.
Surely, I'm not that horrible?
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