changes
if there was anything that was clear abt what happened this whole week, it is that i need a MAJOR revamp of myself..
HUGE HUGE changes......new mindset....new habits....new attitude....
and i've already made a few plans in my head, and i'm going to see what i can do over the mega holidays coming...so....sweets....if ur not going to see me for a while bc of holidays....i suspect that when u return....i may be slightly different...
the truth is, i already am. after pushing through so much of my personal shit, i've made a mental list of things abt myself that needs to be thrown out. some are already gone (YAY), some are a lot harder to shake....hopefully, by the beginning of the year, i'd have made those changes that i so desperately want to change.
i can't predict the future (hehe sometimes i wish i could, sometimes i don't). sometimes i don't think its abt predicting the future. sometimes i think its abt working towards what u want to do - and if there are sacrifices, while the truth is, u made those sacrifices bc u wanted something else more.
i think i've finally decided that life is a mixture of destiny, fate and doing those things u want the most.
eg: going into plc, getting into med - i consider them fate, destiny (hell a mixture of luck)
meeting all my friends from both of these - fate, destiny
BUT - making close bonds, sharing individual time w some friends - want
hehe why am i saying all of this? bc finally, i think i've got the idea that will hold me until at least beginning of next year....
life is abt pushing for what u want. if u don't get it in the first go, try again. if u keep trying and it never comes - try another way. if its too much, then look for something else - bc w something bad is there always a lesson learnt, is there something for u to walk away w- even if its a new idea to work ur life around.
i have been brutally bitter abt myself of late. but the good that comes from it, is that when u personally critique urself, something is bound to stick and u'll change something.
so i am.
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