Chvi

random thoughts ( still a little -ve)

i've noticed lately that sunday posts aren't always that cheerful. weird weird.

still not ready to do that post that i was going to do yesterday....u'll see this line pretty much in every post so that i can remind myself to ummm...write it maybe? ok? yeah....

i would blog abt paul's basketball game (pity abt the losing poopies) but uh....my guess is...many of us will blog it....so hehe nah...i'll spare u guys of having to read it again and again

hehe so ummm back to something deep eh?

i've come to accept that next year will be immensely different. hopefully for the better but if this year has taught me anything, is that my optimism is usually met w some sort of disaster or regret or pain or something that equals bad.

so having said that, i'm actually SCARED SHITLESS that next year things will be so different again that i'm going to end up running around like a headless chicken...A.R.G.H.

hehe friendships will be redfineed again, groups will be shaped again.... and i guess...what else do u expect from life eh? but argh...argh..a million times argh....

i just never had to deal w this at plc....eheh damn it....wasn't prepared for it!!! hehehe although don't get me wrong, i still think that having a sheltered high school life was still a very good thing for me.

bc i, at the ripe old age of 19, am still very naive...and funny enough, am very proud of it too. i use to be proud of my optimism and enthusiasm...but uh...some things happened along the way and i've seem to lost that...pity really..

bc the thing i use to be most proud of w those two traits is that the world was so gloomy as it is. and now i've effectively loss some of it which means i've crossed to the "dark side" which adds to the gloomy world which means....sad and pity....sad and pity.


oh

and another thing..i'm starting to understand this need for an ego boost thing....which i've decided isn't a good thing for me to understand...bc well...if i didn't understand it before, it meant i that i must have had it constantly so i didn't need to think abt it....and now it feels like i've lost it...

haha...random thoughts....and they're a little crazy aren't they? i'd apologise...but again..saying sorry are just words...and hehe truth of the matter...i don't regret posting these thoughts up.

posted by chvi @ 1:40 AM