3 tadbits...
The biggest enjoyment and thrill I get atm is driving in my beautiful car.
It is simply, the best ride I've ever had. So smooth, so relaxing, small and comfty. When i drove the "big car" as its known here in the family, it didn't feel the same. It was too big. It was too powerful - but u felt it.
But the golf, it rides so well. I seriously contemplate sometimes, how to make my drives a little wee longer, just so i can drive it some more. I love it that much.
There is a problem with it though. As stated last blog, I drove to Frankston last thursday, and i must say all that sitting gave me my sciatica back. And it hurts. And I stretch it and I try and fix it and its not getting anywhere. It just hurts. Saturday night was bad. It just felt so bad. haha. Damn sciatica.
***
Today at lunch, a group of us meddies sat around chatting. Ok, well, it was mostly paul and I chatting. To 3 otherwise, fairly quiet, reserved ppl. 2 of them have been getting use to it ...maybe....aha one was just learning. But I think we've given off the wrong impression. Well, not wrong, maybe, just the most extreme.
But after a while of chatting and discussing, and asking if any of us had a 'signifcant other', we came to the realisation that none of us did. And u could just see, as we all sat there, realising that fact, we all thought "what a pathetic bunch."
Medicine has a habit like that. When it becomes all consuming as it starting to become, it leaves lives stagnant. It's such an odd sensation. My group of med friends (perhaps a good 15 of us now) are all single (or some claim we are ...damn pseudo couples. lol.) And we all sorta, let life happen around us. We don't participate in it. The problem is we can't really do much abt it.
***
I spent Sunday with my gram gram and the family. Possibly, the first time I've talked to my grandma in a long while...possibly since middle of last year. She told me a joke about 3 times - well, she told me once and told other ppl when i was around but I found it highly amusing. Perhaps, it wasn't even a joke. But if anyone has watched Russell Peters show and the segment he talks abt Viet motorcycles and how u fit a whole family on one of those things - well my grandma who has NO ENGLISH, said pretty much the same joke...in Vietnamese. My gram is hip.
Sometimes I wish I had the language skills to converse with her more. She's an amusing sort. And has an amazing mind for someone her age. Sharp and witty and yet completely ditzy. She forever has stories, and until this Sunday, I never really appreciated them. Her life story reads like a modern feminist story - she was the independent women who was single by the age of 30, and has remained that way since. She taught herself to read and write. She taught herself how to handle her fiances. She taught my mother how to be strong. And yet, my grandma and mother are 2 of the most emotional women I've ever met. They can cry at a drop of a hat. In fact, once my grandma cried while we were having dinner...and she had no idea why. She just said, she felt like crying.
Through her whole lifetime though, my grandma has made herself useful. Has made her life meaningful for her. She has an incredible outlook on life, especially for someone who's health is starting to deteriorate. When I compare her to my other grandma, who has shrivelled and become a fraction of what she use to be when my grandpa was still alive, it amazes me. My gram often tells me perhaps she was lucky her husband died when he did, bc she knew she had to go on, my mum was but 4. My other grandma, when my grandpa died, felt like she had no purpose left.
It surprised me and shocked me a little when I saw just how my grandma's health had gone downhill since I last saw her. She's alot weaker. A lot slower. And a lot more fearful to do things. Her walk use to annoy the crap out of me, bc it was abt 1/10th of normal speed. Now its 1/32th. She still has an incredible sunny deposition, but we all know the inevitable will come.
When this family is facing all these sorts of pressures as it is now, its easy to forget the little things like that. That we're running out of precious time. That her stories won't be around for long. That everything she has to teach us, her cooking skills (haha which btw, she's forgotten so much. She mused over the wkend that when she was younger...she should have written them down...but was worried other ppl would steal her recipes. We laughed at how they're now lost forever as she can't remember them at all), how to make a pillow (she made me one when i was 12 years old maybe, I sleep with it still), how to enjoy the simple things in life (give her a garden, her phim tap (vietnamese series) and fruit and she's happy), we should try and learn them now.
I don't know how to say this to her, and I know I probably never will. But she made my family. She's the reason why we succeed today. Perhaps she sat down one day and just thought, right, I have to do this and she build my family from scratch. The soul of my family is my mother, and she built my mother. I wouldn't be who I am without my gram gram.
I don't get to see her often and when she use to live with me I didn't appreciate it. But I'm starting to realize, I owe much to this amazing woman. Strange it took me so long to get to this point. She's my grandma, and I'm bloody proud of her.
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