good news, bad news
Time waster #4: sleeping in, trying on hospital outfits, blogging
happy father's day! ummm - HOPEFULLY, that doesn't apply to any of my readers...but yes, happy father's day none the same.
It's nearly 1, and already, i have a list of good and bad news for u guys to read abt - its not that interesting...i wonder why i tell u guys these things...oh yeah bc i talk abt myself all the time...hehe anyhoot, let's give this a shot shall we?
The Good News
YAY! i FINALLY got a good serving of bacon (and no not 60 pieces this time - it was more like 8), and i made myself an egg- i managed to flip the egg and not burst the yolk! I have a great lunch (noodles- yay!) and i plan on having that ice cream w condensed milk and nuts...hehe yes siry...ummm, my internet is working sweetly, and my wardrobe is neat.
The Bad News
sigh --> that's not a good sign is it? I realised today, that i must be doing something terribly terribly wrong, in relation to my family. yes, today's father's day - and i had every intention of waking up at 7 45 to make my dad breakfast - i woke up at 8 15. So my dad didn't get his breakfast- and i got a yelling from my mother. And while she was yelling (and i was tuning out), i looked back over the week...and i think...that everyday of this week - whenever i meet mum for the first time that day, instead of a good morning, hello, how was uni....i got yelled at.
Here are some of the basic rundowns of my yellings (btw, whatever mum says is in viet, so i'm translating!):
* me: hi mum
mum: thu, what's wrong w u? why is ur room so messy? why are u clothes everywhere? how embarrassing to have ur friends over! go clean up! if its not clean in half an hr, i'm throwing everything out (oh, she's not bluffing)
* me: morning mum
mum: uh huh, that's right. Sleep in why don't u? It's nearly lunch time! this whole family has been awake but u've been asleep...so lazy
* me: hi mum..i'm so tired!
mum: well, that's ur own fault isn't it? what time did u stay up to last night? 1? 2? u did, didn't u? That is wrong thu. Last year, when u were studying for yr 12, u couldn't even stay up pass 11 30, and NOW U'RE STAYING UP LATE? don't complain to me ur tired...i've been at work since 6 30 and i just got home
but my mum's favourite complaint- one she used on me today- is this
* me: (either saying) mum can i go out w my friends on sat? (or) oh its someone's b'day and we're going to buy her/go somewhere (or) hehe sorry parents, i'll make u breakfast next week..promise (or) ok i'll go to the dinner w dad...but then after could u drop me at my friend's house?
mum: (oh and most of this is in english too, so its pretty damn serious) oh that's right. Go spend time w ur friends...care for u friends more...but forget ur family right? yes, spend money on ur friends, but can't even be bothered to get something for ur parents...that's ok thu..we know...we're going to a nursing home when we retire...that's fine..don't worry abt us. Don't care abt ur family - just spend all ur time w ur friends. Your father and i can see that u love ur friends more than u love us.
MAJOR GUILT TRIP. i can't even pretend to get angry w mum...bc deep down, all her complaints are kinda true. yes i'm lazy, yes i sleep in bc i stay up late writing up notes (bc i'm procrastinating before that) - even though i didn't do that in yr 12. But the one that hurts the most is the last one. i don't even know how to make it better. i am totally cool w spending some family time - but their family time means them spending time w their friends and me being dragged along. And as for the present thing, its not that i don't want to. but as if, i have the money to buy things they need or want - they basically have everything anyway, and i always get the typical response when i do get them something: what? why did u get this for?
But what gets me the most, is that they think i love my friends more. true, i love my friends alot, but no way will they take over from family. and i think that's why i do end up spending time w friends more- bc i'm unsure of where we'll all be in the future - and i feel the need to create the bonds now, while we're at the same place, so that we create a friendship that will last. I mean, if i didn't, the bonds break, and its a very hard process to rebuild it. i get this idea that family is there for life. i have a security abt it, that i know that stepping behind me, watching my back, are my parents. I know that when i'm older, i'm going to be looking after david, watching his back. I know when i'm older, that my parents will either be living w me or in the house next door, so i'm around if they need it. Friends, i can't be so sure of.
I'm feeling so guilty abt it...its probably why i've been having these daily ice cream cravings...hehe....oh bother...sigh...so please take my apologies if i start neglecting friends as well...i just don't know how to make it better at the moment except to keep outside contact w friends minimum and not complain ,and keep clean and figure what the hell i'm goign to do abt the parent's anniversary present - question though, i wonder why david doesn't get yelled at...and from what i can tell...he's worse than i am.
2 Comments:
Point the first: well done on the eggs. I burnt my crepe this morning, damnit.
Point the second: dude, you take it to heart way too much. Your mum's probably just tired and wants to take it out on someone.
Point the third: you will NEVER be the perfect daughter. There'll always be more cleaning to do, you could always sleep and wake earlier, you could always take better care of your parents and brother and fricking god-uncle-in-law-twice-removed, you could always work harder. Not only do your parents have to deal with this reality, so do you.
Point the fourth: I like your mum and everything, but the "you love your friends more" thing is total passive-aggressive emotional blackmail. Do. Not. Internalize. You are far more loyal to your family than anyone I know in our group of friends.
Point the fifth: maybe you could tell your mum you need a bit more positivity from her from time to time.
-TiDo <<< mine works better than yours :P
hehe thanks Tido (looks like a rip off of dido to me!)
yeah i guess u have some point
and yeah guessery whatery
i did tell mum positive reinforcements are better
she was bagging my driving
and i was like..mum...sometimes...i do better w praise
and that was it
hehe see..i already know what u want me to do before i even know it (ok that didn't make sense)
thanks heaps dude
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